FDR Was a Dirty Socialist Gangster.

I wrote this essay as part of an exam my junior year in AP US History. It received 37 points out of 40, and the teacher wrote "Nice job overall." I believe the question was "Had you lived at the time, would you have been for or against FDR?" or something like that.



Had I lived at the time, I would have been anti-Roosevelt. It's very easy to criticize rather than to take action. It's also much more fun. I would have most enjoyed attacking Roosevelt's New Deal policies. I would have quoted for newspapers feelings of disgust toward his dammed Tennessee Valley Authority. I'd discuss with anyone who had to listen the pitiful efforts of the Works Progress Administration. I'd also declare Roosevelt's wanting to tamper with the Supreme Court an outrage. I believe that in a debate, the winner is the one who uses the most adjectives.

President Roosevelt was a dirty Socialist gangster. We are lucky that he died when he did, or else we'd be singing our praises towards Mother Russia by now. Roosevelt's attempts to steer America down the road to Communism were never more evident than in his Tennessee Valley Authority. This was the worst dam project ever. For the government to harness natural resources in an attempt to control private enterprise is an idea so terrible that it makes Santa Claus vomit with rage.

Had I lived in the period, I hope that I'd be poor enough to take advantage of the Works Progress Administration and its handouts. I'd gladly stand around with a shovel in one hand and a paycheck in the other. As a nation, the United States can be proud of its sudden transformation into a gigantic state of welfare. Alas, morals and integrity would prevent me from taking part in such schemes as being paid to perform needless tasks (i.e., Greendale)

Anyone who truly believes in the glory of our nation must surely wish to throw themselves into a pit of alligators when they think about how Roosevelt attempted to nullify the Supreme Court. Surely, mass suicide would be the only option when any real American considers how Roosevelt's evil plan nearly cost us our checks and balances. It's enough to make a person want to run their car into a school bus, or even move to Canada.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt nearly dammed our nation to the Russians. He tried to burn the Constitution on the steps on the Supreme Court, and he paid vagabonds to perform tasks that any well trained monkey could have performed. Perhaps it is best that trained monkeys were not assembled, for then we would be subject to the hideous events portrayed by Roddy McDowell and Ricardo Montalbon in the classic science fiction masterpiece "Conquest of the Planet of the Apes." Would cheap actors wearing ape masks and make-up really take over the world? Thankfully, we should never know.